Misperception

Nothing stays where it began
Every thought outruns my hands
Every word expands too far
Every room ignites with sparks

I barely slept for days again
Still I feel invincible
Every window shines too bright
Every stranger feels alive

Do you feel it?
Do you feel it move?
Everything is opening tonight

I keep talking far too fast
Ideas breaking through the walls
Every second multiplies
Every color burns my eyes

I can hear my heartbeat laughing
I can feel the ceiling breathing
I can do impossible things
Nothing wants to slow for me

Do not stop now
Do not sleep now
Keep it moving

Something underneath is shaking
Something underneath me bends
Every perfect thought keeps cracking
Before I reach the end

Still I smile like nothing’s wrong
Still I push the night along
Still I tell myself I’m fine
While my thoughts outrun the light

Nothing holds still anymore

Every nerve is burning white
Every shadow feels alive
Every promise sounds enormous
Every moment feels historic

I can feel myself expanding
Far beyond what I can hold

Morning light across the floor
Now the room feels dead again

And my mind still keeps moving
Long after the movement ends

I checked the door before the stairs
Then checked again because it stares
A silent pressure in my head
Repeating words I should have said

The kitchen light was switched off clean
I saw the dark where light had been

But did I turn it off completely?
Did I leave something burning faintly?
What if I only thought I knew?
What if the memory was untrue?

Still I remained beside the wall
Until the silence matched it all

If I miss one thing tonight
What if something is not right?
If I walk away too fast
What if failure follows last?

I count the cracks beneath my feet
Avoiding lines in strict repeat
One wrong movement stays for hours
Growing sharper, growing louder

I wash my hands until they fade
Then start again because afraid

What if traces still remain?
What if dirt survives the rain?
What if stopping now is wrong?
What if I have known all along?

I whisper numbers to the air
To keep the pressure standing there

I know the lock has fully turned
I know the stove no longer burns

But what if memory slipped away?
What if I checked too fast today?
What if this is finally real?
What if certainty can fail?

I know
I know
I know!

Then why does nothing ever settle?

Check again
Check again
Check again!

The room is quiet
My mind is not

Every finished action breaks apart
Before it reaches something stable
Every answer disappears
The moment I believe it capable

I checked the door before I slept

But did I really?

Then checked again
Again
Again!

Seven again
Another shift
Another day pretending I can live like this

I force my hands to stay controlled
While every noise pulls through my bones

A closing door
A passing light
And suddenly my chest turns tight

I keep my face completely still
While something underneath me shakes

Not here
Not now
Just breathe
Look down

Nobody sees it starting

The bathroom lock
The buzzing light
The shaking fingers out of sight

I close my eyes against the sink
Before the pressure breaks my speech

The pills dissolve beneath my tongue
To keep the nervous system numb

Some days they help me hold the line
Some days they barely slow my mind

Not again
Please not here
Not in front of everyone

At night the silence comes apart
In broken images too sharp

I wake beneath a soaked white sheet
With panic crawling through my teeth

Some faces never leave the dark
Some sounds still tear my sleep apart

And every morning feels the same
Another fear without a name

Sometimes I stare at empty walls
Just hoping nothing comes at all

No memory
No sudden sound
No violent shape returning now

Just one minute without fear
One moment where my mind stays here

Tomorrow waits at seven sharp
The same routine
The same disguise

And somewhere underneath it all
Something still refuses silence

Another evening passed
Another evening gone

The curtains never moved
The television stayed on

Coffee growing colder
Beside the empty chair

I watched the daylight disappear
Like I was never there

I still leave the apartment
I still answer when they speak

I still say I'm only tired
And they still believe me

Plates beside the sink remain
Exactly where they stayed

Clothes hanging in the hallway
Like someone else decayed

Every face becomes a blur
Every voice the same

People laugh around me
But nothing in me came

Sometimes I speak for no real reason
Just to hear a human sound

Sometimes silence fills the evening
Before I even notice now

Another evening passed
And I dissolved inside it

Another evening passed
And nothing moved beside it

I cannot feel the distance
Only watch it grow

Like every part of who I was
Left somewhere long ago

The room is dark again
The morning will return

Another evening passed
And nothing in me turned

You answered slower than before
Three words
Then nothing anymore
I read the message fifteen times
Searching every single line

You said you only felt exhausted
Still something underneath me twisted
A colder tone
A smaller phrase
And suddenly my breathing changed

What did I do?
What did I miss?
Why does your silence feel like this?

I keep refreshing every page
Watching minutes start to stretch
You said you needed time alone
Why does that feel like being gone?

I hear distance inside your voice
Even when you say no choice
I know you never said goodbye
Then why does it feel close tonight?

Please answer
Please answer
Please answer me

I hate the way my mind becomes
When I believe you start to run
One second close
One second gone
One touch away from coming undone

I tell myself to let it pass
Then send another text too fast
I know I sound impossible
Still I cannot stop at all

Look what you made me become

I was calm before the distance
Now my thoughts tear through resistance

Do not leave
Do not disappear
Do not turn your voice unclear

I hate you
Please stay
I hate myself this way

The room is quiet now again
Your messages remain unread

And somewhere underneath the silence
I already know I went too far

I heard my name behind the wall
Then silence when I stopped the hall
A moving shadow near the stair
No one standing anywhere

The same black car returns at night
Its headlights cut across the blinds
Maybe nothing
Maybe chance
Still I lock the door again

Did you hear that?
Did you see?
Someone’s watching underneath

The television cracked with noise
A hidden sentence through the voice
A phrase repeating far too clear
Like someone knew that I was here

I closed the curtains
Killed the lights
Still I felt them there outside
Every hallway
Every sound
Feels like footsteps moving now

Do not speak too loud tonight
Do not leave the window wide
Do not turn your back too long
Something follows all along

Why do strangers stare too long?
Why do rooms feel slightly wrong?
Why does every passing face
Feel connected somehow lately?

I keep looking past my shoulder
Hands are shaking getting colder
I cannot stop scanning doors
I cannot rest anymore

They know
They know
They already know

I can feel them in the wires
In the silence
In the light
Every small coincidence
Feels connected now somehow

Please stop looking through the walls
Please stop listening when I talk

Too loud
Too loud
They will hear me now

Morning light across the floor
The black car is gone once more

Still I check the locks again
Still I watch the window frame

Something changed inside my head
Words return after they're said
Every silence stretches wide
Like another mouth inside

I heard my name beneath the rain
Then heard it whisper once again
Maybe tired
Maybe stress
Still it follows through my chest

Did you hear it?
Was that real?
Why does every shadow feel
Closer now
Too close somehow?

The hallway bends when no one moves
The television speaks in loops
A sentence buried in the noise
Repeating fragments of my voice

I stop speaking halfway through
Then hear the ending spoken too
Not aloud
But not my mind
Something breathing close behind

Close behind you
Always near you

I cannot tell which thoughts are mine
I hear them forming out of time
Every mirror looks delayed
Every room feels rearranged

I hear them answer when I think
Before the words can fully leave
Sometimes whispering my name
Sometimes speaking through my face

What is happening to me?
Why can't anybody else hear this?

You heard it already
Stop pretending otherwise

I close my eyes to make it stop
Still the voices never stop
Every word becomes divided
Every thought feels overcrowded

Please tell me which voice is mine

That was never yours to keep
You were never fully alone

Morning light across the room
Something answers in my voice

I do not speak anymore

Everyone was laughing loud
Glasses moving all around
Stories drifting table-side
Still I could not meet your eyes

You smiled softly from your chair
Like you always used to there
Same voice
Same hands
Still something underneath had changed

I kept staring when you smiled
Waiting for your face to slip
Something small enough to miss
Something hidden underneath

Your laughter came a second late
Like it paused before escape
Nobody else seemed to react
Still my pulse would not slow down

You spoke about familiar days
Childhood streets and older names
Every detail sounded clean
Almost practiced in between

Everyone kept talking freely
I kept watching every blink
Every pause and every movement
Every time you looked at me

Not the same
Not the same

I looked around the crowded room
Waiting for someone to notice
Waiting for another face
To finally react the same

But nobody seemed uncomfortable
Nobody could feel the distance
I wanted badly to believe you
Still something colder stayed beneath

Why am I the only one
Who feels a stranger in your skin?

How does nobody else feel this?
How does nobody see the difference?

You know things you should not know
You move close but feel unknown

Maybe they still see you clearly
But I know what sits across from me

The table slowly fell to silence
Chairs abandoned one by one

Still I see your smile repeating
Long after the room is gone

You said the hallway felt strange tonight
Like someone stood there out of sight
I laughed at first
Then checked the locks
Because I thought I heard it too

Maybe something followed us
Maybe something knows we're here

Now we barely leave the room
Curtains closed throughout the day
Every passing car slows down
Every distant voice feels wrong

You started hearing it before me
Now I hear it all the time

Keep the curtains closed tonight

Sometimes your fear becomes my own
Sometimes your voice becomes my voice

Everybody says we're fine
Still the house feels wrong at night

Maybe we were left awake
Maybe we were meant to notice

If the whole world still sounds normal
Maybe we were never part of it

Stay awake tonight beside me
Do not leave me here alone

Morning light behind the curtains
Neither one of us has slept

When did these feelings start?
What makes you certain of this?

Something faded weeks ago
Now my body walks alone

People speak and I reply
Still I do not feel alive
Every morning looks the same
Like somebody wears my name

Do you believe you are dead?

Something living still remains
But I no longer feel inside it

My hands move without thinking
Doors still open when I leave
Voices speak across the office
Still they sound too far from me

Food no longer feels important
Sleep no longer seems complete
I still stand before the mirror
Waiting for my face to speak

Do you feel fear?
Do you feel pain?

Not the way I used to feel
Everything became too distant

Sometimes people say I'm smiling
I do not remember why
Sometimes I still hear my voice
Like an echo after death

I think something disappeared
Long before I entered here

You keep speaking like I'm present
Like there's someone left to save

Maybe this is all that's left
When somebody disappears

Outside traffic still keeps moving
Morning light across the floor

And my body still continues
Like it did the day before

Hey... I know your face
Why can't I recall your name?
You were here not long ago
Or maybe years before today

You smiled when I looked your way
Like we had spoken yesterday
For just a moment I almost knew
Exactly who you were

Wait... have we met before?

Someone called me home for dinner
I was maybe eight years old
But this room still feels familiar
Though the walls are growing old

I keep hearing father's footsteps
Somewhere underneath the rain
Or perhaps my son just passed me
Maybe both became the same

Hey... I know your face
I almost said the proper name

People smile when I get lost
So I smile and laugh with them

You look tired now... much older
When did your hair turn grey?
Didn't we walk here together
Just a few short years away?

Sometimes all the years surround me
All at once and out of place
Every life still moving through me
Every room becomes the same

Hey... I know your face
You held my hand here yesterday

Or perhaps that was my mother
Standing near the garden gate

I was younger just a moment
Wasn't this our old street home?
Why does every voice feel distant
When I know I'm not alone?

Hey... I know your face...

You were always...

Everything feels far too loud
Every face dissolves into the crowd
Every word arrives too fast
Like nothing solid ever lasts

Tell me this is still real
Tell me what I'm meant to feel
Something moves behind the wall
Something whispers when I fall

Did the ceiling just collapse?
No — the room is breathing back

Every light begins to shake
Every sound bends out of shape
Every voice becomes my own
Every thought arrives at once

Tell me this is still real
Tell me this can still be healed
Did you hear somebody scream?
Or was that inside of me?

Wait—

People talking in the hallway
Words repeating in my head
Someone called me from the mirror
Someone whispered from the bed

Every object starts vibrating
Every shadow feels awake
I can feel the walls distort
I can feel my balance break

TELL ME THIS IS STILL REAL

No... no...
Everything is fine
I just need a little time

Every memory speaking louder
Every movement multiplied
Every face becomes another
Every sound grows sharp inside

Tell me this is still real
Tell me I can wake from this
Tell me something still makes sense

Tell me—